1^st Timothy 2:9-10 “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;¹⁰ But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.”

I wanted to touch on this controversial subject in regards to why this is so important for the sake of men.  Most women will rebel against this and call it narrow-minded, or they will say that men just need to “control their impulses,” simply because they do not understand what men go through.  So I’ll try to explain a little bit here, with the help of the book “Every Man’s Battle” (which I think EVERY Christian woman should be REQUIRED to read), and a few Scriptures on the issue.

1^st Corinthians 7:7-9 “For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.⁸ I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.⁹ But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.”

Paul states that “singleness” is a GIFT of God.  And he states that he wishes all men had the gift, thereby implying that NOT all men have this gift.  I purpose that this “gift” is an ability to control the sexual desires.  Especially the desires that are triggered by visual stimuli. The reason I say that is because of verse 9.  Men that “cannot contain” are told to marry rather than burn.  So the gift would then be the ability to “contain.”  Therefore, not all men have the ability to contain and are purposed for marriage.  And I would suggest that that is the VAST majority of men.  It is very rare to find a man that can “contain” his desires, thereby showing his gift of singleness.

(From "Every Man's Battle" by Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker, and Mike Yorkey)

"Men receive a chemical high from sexually charged images - a hormone called epinephrine is secreted into the bloodstream, which locks into the memory whatever stimulus is present at the time of the emotional excitement.....His stimulation began in his thought process, which triggered his nervous system, which secreted epinephrine into his bloodstream.....We're compelled by the chemical high and the sexual gratification it brings."

Seeing that men are visually stimulated, to place a woman’s flesh in his sight is to stir up all sorts of burning desires.  Before you say, “Well, he’s just a pervert and should be able to control himself,” consider what you are saying. 

One, that is not a very loving or considerate response.  The Bible commands us to consider our weaker brethren and not to put a stumbling block in front of them (1st Corinthians 8:9). 

Two, yes, he should be fighting to take captive every thought to the obedience of Christ (2^nd Corinthians 10:5), but that’s HIS part.  YOURS is to dress modestly.  Don’t neglect your obligation, using his struggles as an excuse. 

 Three, when we are stimulated by something, it triggers those chemicals in the brain that lead to addiction.  When endorphin's and dopamine and epinephrine are firing, pleasure is being received by the brain and the body starts to crave those triggers.  Sex is probably the MOST addictive pleasure, and men are stimulated VISUALLY!  So when you tell him to “fight his urges,” but then flash your flesh in front of his eyes, it’s like telling an opioid addict to resist the temptation to get high, but then putting needles and heroin right in front of him!

A man who has not been gifted the gift of singleness, sees a woman’s flesh and is visually stimulated.  The chemicals in his brain fire creating pleasure, leading to addiction.  And in a society like today, where flesh and form are promoted on EVERY street corner, it is virtually an impossible battle to fight.  Even in Paul's day, he knew that some men couldn’t contain.  In a day when women covered their flesh, and media like billboards, television, and magazines didn’t exist, men STILL burned with the desire.  So much that Paul didn’t urge them to “contain” themselves, but to marry!  He said, “Find a lawful way to fulfill this desire.”  How much harder is it for men in today’s day and age?

Please ladies, don’t brush this off as men just being perverts.  Many of us are fighting our addictions in tears!  We haven’t been gifted singleness and we haven’t yet found wives.  And so we try to ‘bounce’ our eyes and avoid the stimuli, but it is EVERYWHERE!  From yoga pants on every girl from 13-50, to television shows that take us right into the bedrooms, to commercials that use those desires to sell, to magazine covers, to the beaches and sidewalks.  It’s a world FULL of “free stimuli.”  The addiction is fed over and over and over.  And we ARE making war, but are you doing your part?  Are you covering up to help your brothers?  Or do you excuse yourself for the sake of comfort and fashion?  Don’t forget, while your focusing on men’s responsibility to be pure, you're neglecting the COMMAND to dress modestly. 

Let’s work together Saints!

So let me bottom line this:

1.    Looking with lust is adultery and is forbidden.  Men are required to resist this and take captive their thoughts.

2.    Women are REQUIRED to help by dressing modestly.  This means covering up their flesh.  No cleavage, no bikinis, no yoga pants, etc.  This is not a suggestion, but a command.

3.    Men are visually stimulated.  That is his nature, not a perversion.  He was created that way.  If he sees the flesh of a woman, addictive chemicals are released in his brain causing pleasure.  Women need to understand that and HELP their brothers by covering up.

4.    Most Christian men are battling every single day in their hearts to resist this.  But the abundance of flesh all around them fights against them.  Christian women must NOT be a stumbling block simply because they want to dress comfortable or fashionable.  It is disobedience to the modesty command, and it is very unloving towards their brothers.

5.    This is a join-effort battle.  Men must do their part and resist, women must do their and not give an occasion for the flesh.